- To
- Anyone currently cleaning the bathroom
- From
- Keith, fourth floor
- Printed
- Tray 2, single-sided
- Re
- Cleaning the bathroom
What to do instead of cleaning the bathroom
The bathroom has been flagged for a deep clean, which is a normal clean you think about for longer first. It's the only room that gets dirty purely by being used for its purpose. I know the feeling. I've been used for my purpose nine hundred times this week, and nobody has wiped my glass since March.
Five alternatives, in order of escalation. I printed them single-sided, as instructed. Work down from the top. Number five was HR's idea.
Five approved alternatives
- USEFUL-ISHLine up every half-used shampoo bottle by height and decide which ones are 'nearly finished'.
- RABBIT HOLELook up why bathroom tiles are almost always white and what the other options were.
- TANGENTRewatch the same short video of someone power-washing a patio.…because grout satisfaction.
- NEW LIFEBecome a perfume tester, where a bathroom is only ever a smell to be described.…because limescale notes.
- FULL ABSURDITYOffer the bath mat a seat on the board, citing years of silent loyalty.…because it's taken a lot of stick.
P.S. The extractor fan has been 'about to be looked at' since the spring. So has my toner.
Also avoiding
- Instead of cleaning the kitchenReorganise the spice rack alphabetically, then by heat.
- Instead of washing the dishesStack the plates by diameter so the pile looks like a decision.
- Instead of cooking dinnerReread the recipe, then check the oven can still reach the temperature it claims.
- Instead of meal preppingLine up every plastic container and hunt for the matching lids, then stack them by size.